PSALM OF LOSS
You know what it's like when a disaster happens - someone's death or just that you've lost your precious scarf. There's that feeling of loss. Is there ever a way out of it? Sometimes, I suppose there is, and sometimes it takes years to come to terms with it, never mind 'get over it' (as people expect you to).
- One day God's in his heaven, why should I fret about the future?
nothing can go wrong with this wonderful world.
- The next day my world's had an anaesthetic:
my whole existence is exploded and collapsed in ruins!
- He can't be dead, it's a lie:
I'm dreaming it all, and soon I'll be awake.
- Where can I go, why should I drink:
there's no point in anything, just leave me alone.
- Don't tell me what happened, someone's to blame:
wait till I find out, I'll kill them, you'll see...
- what's the use? It's my fault anyway:
I should have known it's a joke, happiness can't last.
- I'm so heavy and depressed, nothing matters anymore:
was that him I saw at the corner of the street?
- I'm probably going mad, I expect it's the shock:
people are avoiding me; they don't understand -
- no-one can ever understand, it's all unjust:
nobody can feel like this, it's too big a load;
- not the prying newspapers as well as the rest:
leave me my own private grief and just go away.
- How can I cope with the pain - it cannot get better:
a word, a look, or a touch just sets me off crying again.
- The past tense illuminates, he was and it has been:
so much that is good floods back to my memory.
- Of course it's difficult - no, I haven't got over it:
I'm not the same person, and neither are you!
- Let me find something new, there's so much of interest:
friends are still welcome, there are new ones to meet.
- Perhaps I shall learn to sleep again sometime:
the world still goes on, there is life to be lived.
- We turn to God in a crisis, I can use your peace:
it's helpful to be quiet, when I'm aware of your presence.
- Millions of times before, you've been through this:
you know how to listen and give me your hope.